Can you keep a secret?!?!?!?

I am horrible at keeping secrets, I don’t/can’t lie, everyone will tell you I stink at it… because of this, planning a wedding is HARD!!!

All my key players, my mom, my soon to be mother in law and my bridesmaids know pretty much everything and they should know... I need their opinions and help making decisions (they also help keep me grounded and help me not to stress too much!). But I want our guests to be surprised and in awe of what we’ve worked hard to create. This is where my trouble begins. I want to post pictures on FB of the dresses, reception decorations and place settings, I want to share our findings with friends and family that are not it the wedding. Every day I have to say, ‘Don’t do it, Danielle. It will be worth the wait… they will see it all on July 14^th.’

But this trouble is nothing compared to the need to show Ryan my wedding dress. I’ve even caught myself trying to find little ways of explaining the dress to him… I want him to see it soo bad that it makes me do the antsy dance just thinking of it. Ryan has been great; he hasn’t even asked what it looks like. All he wanted to know if I loved it!

I can’t wait until the time comes that we get to share our special day with all the most important people in our lives and when that day comes I will smile because I know that there are no more secrets.

Wedding Invitation & Table Runner HELL

Okay... So yes I deserve to be going through this headache. I told EVERYONE how easy it is to plan a wedding. I wasn't running into any road bumps, I was picking things easily, I wasn't having second thoughts in what I was picking either. My mom and soon to be mother in law know exactly what to look for and are doing a GREAT job hunting down the numerous amount of blue glass we need! It has been amazing and EASY!

Boy was I wrong! I am currently in table runner and wedding invitation HELL! I never realized the amount of choices there are available and the price ranges. Let's talk about the price for a moment... Who in their right mind spends anywhere close to $800.00 for paper that people are going to throw away?? And then to add the price of shipping these invites. The price for invites blows my mind and gives be a headache daily as mom and I search and search hundreds on invites. It's actually kind of fun to dig for that great deal and the perfect item but after about 2 hours of looking I'm completely spent for the day. Good thing my mom can handle the computer longer. It doesn't stress her like it does me and if it does she's doing a wonderful job trying to keep me calm as I throw my hands down and walk away from it.

Then we switch to table runners for awhile to give the invite search a breather... Mom and I started this search out thinking this isn't going to be too expensive. We can find cheap fabric online and she will sew everything. Umm... apparently we missed the memo... this isn't going to be EASY either. I picked my wedding colors partly because I figured we'd find a lot of options in the colors and it really has been pretty easy until you get in your head that you ONLY want dark yellow damsik fabric. Again, mom and I spent many hours laughing, phone calls and sending links back and forth. I even emailed a website and asked if they were going to start caring a runner in yellow soon.. good news... THEY ARE!

I will never say this process is easy again. I'm soo excited for the big day, but it won't be because I found the perfect table runners or invitations. I'm excited to marry the man I love and to start our lives together. I continue to remind myself of this daily so I stay grounded in this 'planning a wedding' battle. We will survive it and I know no matter what it will be perfect, even if I have to email everyone our wedding invites. :)

Proposing isn't E-A-S-Y

After telling my mom the story of Ryan's proposal, she looks to Ryan and says, "Oh boy! That goes to show you Danielle will never make things easy for you!" Ryan, took a deep breathe and responded with, "Yep, I know."

First of all, to my credit, it was RAINING!! Ryan had spent weeks talking to his mom and my family about how this was all gonna go down. He asked for suggestions and wanted everything perfect, he planned :). Second, I don't do perfect well and I hate planning which he found out first hand on August 5th, 2011.

Ryan arrived at my house about an hour before our dinner reservations at my favorite place in town, Peppertree at the Depot. We were sitting outside with the dogs when he brought up going to go look at the gazebo in the City Park. I had mentioned a couple weeks ago that they do weddings there and it might be an idea for our wedding someday and he said he'd like to see it before dinner that night. I whined a little and said I didn't really want to go there that night. Ryan remained calm and collected until I flat out said, "I don't want to go, its RAINING! and my hair will get all curly!" He begged and said "No! We're going, that's final," We continued this play fighting back and forth for awhile, then I believe I mentioned that he could go and look while I was going to sit in the car... He finally said, "fine" just to get me out of the house... then to top off the start to the night, I looked at my dog, Charlie, and told her, "Come on, Charlie, kennel... Ryan says we HAVE to go now."

We arrived at the gazebo, which was the intended 'proposal site.' We got out of the car and walked to the gazebo through the wet, wet grass. Ryan kept saying I think this would be a perfect place for a wedding. Not known to him I had already changed my mind. I no longer liked the gazebo and started coming up with all these excuses why this wouldn't work... too much money to decorate right, what if it RAINS!! Ryan had started to pace and walk in circles around the center of the gazebo. I remember thinking 'Wow! He is being difficult tonight.' I decide I'm done with being here, our reservations are in 20 minute, time to start walking away and he'll follow... Follow he did, but now he is really starting to get nervous! He told my family later that he was standing there in the middle of the gazebo...about to get down on one knee...he looked up and I was already GONE and he kept thinking, 'Our families know its suppose to happen tonight, what if I don't find a way to ask her...' Ryan put his arm around me and started asking all these 'odd' questions.. Where are some other pretty places in town? Where else would you get married? You really have your heart set on that chapel, don't you? Can we go look around the Grinnell College campus, where the chapel is? Once again, in all my glory, I say, "we're gonna be late! We can look around another day, it's RAINING and wet!" Ryan convinces me we'll have enough time and of course I start driving towards the chapel. I will do anything to convince him this is where we will get married!

We arrive at 'proposal site #2' and get out of the car. I noticed this amazing bed of flowers. Bright oranges, pinks and whites and start to talk about how gorgeous the grounds are... but Ryan keeps walking and walking, I look at my watch 10 minutes until our reservations, the grass is wet, I'm wearing sandals, this stinks! Ryan stops in the middle of the grassy field and puts his arm around me, I tell him we really should get going, babe, and we start walking towards the car. Ryan stops at the flower beds and asks, 'So, what kind of flowers do you think these are?' I start to name flowers off (not really knowing what I'm talking about) then finally admit I have no idea.

Finally at 'proposal site #3, the flower bed behind the chapel, Ryan pulled out the ring and asks, "Will you marry me?" I honestly don't know what happened in the next couple minutes... I couldn't think, I didn't feel like it was real... All I remember saying was, " Oh Ryan! Really? Of course! YES! I love you! Yes!" I'm not even sure how the ring ended up on my finger after that but I do remember his arm around me as we started to walk back to the car 5 minutes late to our reservations.

Do I wish our story was better? stayed with the plan? more romantic? NO WAY! Our story, our proposal was soo us and is completely worth telling over and over again. Ryan and my relationship is very light-hearted with tons of teasing and little bickering thrown in for good measure that every would agree this was the PERFECT proposal for us. Which makes this story even better, because Ryan didn't get down on one knee. Although that was part of his plan, his future wife made sure he was such a bundle of nerves by messing up his plan that he left that part out. Because of this one little detail Ryan has taken a lot of teasing from friends and family that I have promised him... From this day forward the story will be that the ground was too WET to get down on one knee!